Really Cubs?

This is a tirade that abuses the English language to vent about – not against – the Chicago Cubs.  I don’t care if I get fired over any of my salty choices of words.  I watch these Cubs seemingly every night.  It really irks me that their fans are so undeservedly treated by these…these Cubs. Ying and fucking yang.

Really, what the hell is going on? Did Soriano tell Jobu to kiss off?  Is everyone on the pitching staff taking those cold medications that speed you up only to put you to sleep?  Certainly Anthony Rizzo has some unbelievable potential, but if anyone else was as up-and-down as this kid they’d be a platoon player. The Cubs are like a bad movie that you watch just because it’s on. Yeah, that movie, where at some point the protagonist shows that even though he obviously could and will be something great, first he has to fall flat on his face before he ultimately finds redemption and all ends well.

Travis Wood was taken out of the game last night after 6-2/3 and only 89 pitches – that’s the definition of efficiency.   The Cubs won the game 7-2 and have now won four in a row. In all honesty, who gives a shit; I learned back in May that you can rely on this team about as much as an Aaron Hernandez testimonial. At one time, the Cubs were 12-16.  They then proceeded to get swept by the now-division-leading Diamondbacks, which pretty much shut the door on any type of winning season.  From that point on, they have scratched and clawed their way back to respectability. Tonight, these Cubs will send their second-best pitcher to the mound against C.J. Wilson. Wilson has all but flopped after getting that big money deal from LA. The Cubs can win their fifth in a row tonight, but then it’ll get tougher in the run up to the All-Star Break because the Cubs have a huge series against arch-rival St. Louis starting on Thursday.

Getting back to Soriano – Where the fuck has this suddenly monstrous performer been since he signed on to help these Cubs?  The guy’s hitting .400 in his last 11 games with a slugging percentage that should have Barry Bonds raise an eyebrow.  He went 3-for-4 last night, stole some bases, scored some runs, hit a couple of dingers, and managed to avoid colliding with Starlin Castro in shallow left.  For all intents and purposes that’s some hall-of-fame shit right there, albeit in mere burst form. The question needs to be asked, Why now? Does Soriano want out of town, is he sick of the Northside, does he see his contract as a burden to the team, and/or does he want to make himself attractive for a DH position in a playoff race.

Are these Cubs really shooting for the moon – a World Series Championship? If they were to trade Soriano – so as to relieve themselves of his contract AND get more than a player-to-be-named-later – then everyone associated with these Cubs can go on vacation because the rebuilding process would be fast-forwarded by at least twelve months. Soriano’s current deal expires after next season, but the way this guy is swinging right now might encourage the Yankees to take him back if only to turn him into a modern-day Matzui. The only thing Soriano needs to do is keep it up until after the All-Star Break. Then Theo Epstein might be doing cartwheels if he’s able to put out a press release announcing that Soriano has been traded for some RHP who’ll probably never make it past long relief.  If that presser also mentions that the Cubs won’t absorb any of the money then the Billy Goat may need an MRI.

P.S. Did Rios really have 6 hits against the supposed best pitcher of the decade?